From the Silent Floor & A Major Decision

Today's (gray) view from the library. I can't wait to compare this in 6 months!

It's my second day back to classes, and I think I forgot how much work this is... Between my seven (yes, seven...) classes, I can't imagine how I'm going to be successful, well rested, and personable this term. I keep telling myself that I'm almost done (158 days til graduation, but who's counting...?), but I also have to focus on starting this term strongly, because I still have a lot of hard work coming! I can definitely say this will be my hardest term, and that spring should be slightly less trying, but that's not much comfort when I've only just begun. I know I bring it upon myself with my schedule, but knowing I've done all of this in two years makes it more than worth it. Plus, I have a pretty great prize waiting for me after I finish; Anyone else getting a husband for a graduation present?! ;)

All the complaining aside, it's really setting in what a monumental year this is about to be; Confidently, I say this might be the biggest year of my life. Come December, I will be a college graduate (dual wielding bachelors? Is that a thing?), married, and God-knows-what-else. It's about to be a challenging year in every way possible, but I'm so thankful already, and it's only been a week!

It feels good to be back on campus, even within the chaos... I really do love Western Oregon, I just wish it was closer to home. It's starting to set in that I'm almost done here! I've successfully set out what I aimed to accomplish, but its weird to think of all my friends coming back here in the fall and carrying on... I guess it's that change thing again :). I know not everyone agrees with what I'm doing with my life, and that's okay; I had one friend who, in the same breath with which she congratulated me, told me she felt bad I was getting married. She felt that I was missing out on this great big adventure of being single and wild and traveling the world-- But in my eyes, I'm joining in on the biggest adventure of my life, and getting to experience everything with my best friend. None of the goals I have for myself will be negatively impacted by my marriage, and for the lovely family members who mourn me "throwing my life away to be a wife", things have honestly changed. D doesn't expect me to sit at home, barefoot and pregnant for the rest of my life*. I'm going to have more freedom with my career, school, kids, travels, whatever. I probably will never have dinner on the table at 5 o'clock exactly, won't fetch his paper and slippers in the evening, and won't stay at home scrubbing the baseboards with a toothbrush-- But that's okay. We'll be partners, and share the responsibilities. We'll (God-willing) both be working, both be taking care of the not-yet-a-glimmer-in-our-eye-children, both helping to run a household, and continuing to accomplish goals together. This is only the beginning [end marriage rant, apologize profusely].

That all being said, or screamed at times, leads me to one of the bigger decisions I've made recently:
 I'm not heading into grad school this fall.
I've finally decided which program is the best fit for me, and it requires a year of A&P that I've never had, so I'll take a year (or more) to complete those requirements and then apply. The list of benefits to this choice are astronomical, and I've never felt more relieved. I'm gonna get to settle into married life, start my job search, and renew my motivation; I'm not "quitting" school, just re-pacing myself. In the mean time (after graduation), there's a job at the Children's Hospital I'm in love with, and will be pursuing the internship for, which would start in January (I know, a year away....). Depending on if that works out or not will determine how school works for me and/or when.

With everything on the horizon, I'm honestly really looking forward to this year, even the next section of Advanced Quantitative Statistical Research Methods. Well, maybe not that specifically, but inclusively I guess. I've always doubted the power of time and expectation, although I've been defied every time, and I'm sure these next few weeks, months, seasons will be the same... This just feels like the grown-up version of 44 for me, and I can't wait.



*Pregnant for the rest of my life sounds like a fate worse than death. Maybe they were on to something ;)